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… and I’m excited, nervous, hopeful, fearful.

It seems the only time I actually spend working on my WIP is during the month of November during NaNoWriMo. Last year I managed to keep plugging away at it into the month of December. But I haven’t done much more than glance at it, make a few small tweaks to some obvious grammatical errors, send it to someone to read/edit and then promptly ignore it for the past six months.

And now NaNoWriMo is rolling around again and I find myself anxious to get back to it but also feeling guilty for ignoring it for so long.

Every time I pick up the story I’m in a different place in life and the story changes because of it. In November 2011 I was clearly feeling a bit more optimistic and while it was never meant to be a light read, the story was a bit lighter, there was more humor, more sarcasm, more flirtatiousness. Last year I was clearly in a dark mood and so my story took a turn for the dark side. I put my MC in situations that weren’t easy for her and were definitely not easy for me to write.

I’d almost completed it last year, but for an ending. I couldn’t decide on whether to opt for tragic or to shoot for something somewhere between tragic and bittersweet. So I’m very curious as to what this NaNoWriMo will mean for the story’s end.

Instead of trying to make word count like I did last year, I’ve decided to try and finish the story, clean it up a bit, fix the continuity issues that I know abound and then decide whether to place it firmly at the bottom of the trunk or see if there’s actually someone interested in reading it.

I also have a few short stories I’d like to complete, so if by some stroke of good fortune I am able to finish my WIP before the month is over, I’d like to use NaNoWriMo to make that happen.

I think this is going to be the deciding year for whether I choose to pursue writing as more than just something I do in my spare time, when I’m not working or blogging about books.

At this point I’m still on the fence, as pursuing a writing career means I will have to cut down on blogging significantly. Blogging and all that it entails takes a good six to eight hours of my time each day. It is my second job. An unpaid one. But it’s become an important part of my life that I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to say goodbye to.

But it’s been a long time since I completed a novel. And while I may get a little crazy not writing to meet those daily sprints, I think completing my characters’ story is important, even if no one ever gets to meet Shay and Finn.

I will likely be journaling about my NaNoWriMo experiences here. There may be tears of frustration and anguish that I’ll need to voice. I apologize in advance.